when i grow up....

It was the summer before I was about to enter the third grade. My best friend and I had been placed in Mrs. George's class, and her mother was not happy. She immediately called the school to have her switched out, and encouraged my mom to do the same. She, and many other parents of the kids in the class, had heard that Mrs. George was mean and strict and that if it was possible, to switch their children out. My mom just looked at her and said, "Even if she is, Kristina will have to learn to deal with it." I was anxious going into school on the first day, and I walked into the classroom expecting to see the witch figure from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Instead, I saw a friendly looking lady with curly hair and gold glasses and a big smile. This was the year I decided I wanted to be a teacher.

Mrs. George wasn't mean or strict or any of those other bad things I had heard about her. In fact, to this day, I still believe that Mrs. George was one of the best teachers I have ever had. She was tough when she needed to be and knew how to get us to work to the best of our ability every single day. I remember writing journal entries as if we were the Native Americans around Thanksgiving time. I remember playing "Mad Minute" to perfect our multiplication tables. I remember the hugs she used to give us if we were having a bad day, and I remember how proud we made her with all of our hard work. I remember her crying on the last day of school, and when I saw her recently at the supermarket, ten years after being in her class, her eyes lit up. "Kristina! Look what a beautiful young woman you have become!" This is the kind of teacher I want to be. Even though I may not be the teacher that makes parents call the school and request that their child be in my class (for Mrs. George, it was the opposite), I want to be the teacher that believes her students can do anything, and encourages them to do so. I won a writing award in the third grade because Mrs. George believed that I was a wonderful writer. Since then, writing (English) has been my passion, and I wonder if I would be at the point I am now if it hadn't been for Mrs. George.

I want to be that teacher that children will remember for the rest of their lives, the one that made them feel as if they could do something in this world, not only to help other people, but to better themselves in the process. As a teacher, I want to be the one that my kids can come to with good news because they want to share it with me, bad news because they know that I will be there for them, and whenever they need someone to talk to. Through the VIPS program and my tutoring at The Little Zoo, I hope I have accomplished a small part of this. I hope that when the children I had in my groups go on to elementary school and high school that they remember when they were learning how to read, and the first time they read a whole book by themselves. I'll remember. Although I am going into secondary education, this experience has proved itself to be more than valuable. It has not only enforced the fact that I want to teach older students, preferably high school, and some day, college students, but it has also helped give me the push I need to start becoming that teacher. The teacher that I hope will make her students proud and make a difference in each of their lives.

I also hope to be the teacher that students will talk about and say, "Yeah, she's the one whose classroom I feel safe in." I hope to be the teacher that uses multicultural and linguisitic differences to my advantage, and to the advantage of the class. I hope to be the teacher that makes her students see the world the way it is, and want to better it. I hope to be the teacher that can prove to her students that they can be anything they want to be, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, or ethnicity. I want to be that teacher.

I recently went through the old things my mother has kept from elementary school. I found the essay, written in less-than perfect cursive, that won me the Gerald Burns Writing Award in third grade. I found report cards, with perfect grades, and teacher comments telling my parents that I was too loud in class. I also found another essay: What I Want To Be When I Grow Up. The first line reads "When I grow up, I want to be a teacher just like Mrs. George." I guess some things just never change...

differences make up the classroom

The culturally competent teacher communicates in ways that demonstrate sensitivity to sociocultural and linguistic differences, using a variety of verbal and non-verbal communication techniques that encourage positive social interaction and support learning in their classroom.

As a teacher, one must always expect the worst, but hope for the best. In any classroom discussion, there is the possibility that the most innocent statement may cause any kind of reaction from any one of the students present. At The Little Zoo, it's not so much an issue as it might be in a junior high or high school. The worst word that comes out of the mouths of some of these kids is "stupid" or "dumb." Whenever I worked with my children, I wanted them to feel comfortable with me and each other, and I wanted them to be excited about the games that we would play to help them learn. From the very first day, I made sure I always had a smile on my face, which wasn't a problem at all. These kids were so friendly and inviting, I felt so welcome by the entire classroom, even the children that weren't in my group and that I had never personally met. It's rather difficult to keep a bad attitude on when you're surrounded by six year olds that are coloring pictures to learn words that begin with the sound of the letter m.

I've already mentioned that I started to incorporate Spanish words and phrases in my activities with the kids. I immediately noticed that the kids were a little surprised and very happy that I had reached to this part of their lives, and that I wanted to learn more about it. At the same time, I couldn't just say "I incorporated Spanish in the lesson, job's done." There were other issues that might not have been as prominent. These kids need to learn from this young age that school can be a safe place for them, that regardless of the language they speak at home, or how much money their family might have, that they can come to school and have the same right as everyone else to learn and to live up to their dreams.

Because I plan on going into Secondary Education, I will most likely have to deal with bigger issues than who has the newest Cars sneakers or who saw the Alvin and the Chipmunks Movie and whose family can't afford to go to the movies. Megan Boler in her article "All Speech Is Not Free" brings up the concept of Affirmative Action Pedagogy. Not only does this include creating a space for the marginalized voices to be heard, but it also requires all voices to be accountable for what they say. In the classrooms I have tutored in this year, it would require the teacher making sure that even those children that may not be as advanced as the other kids felt that they could speak up in class, without fear that the kids might call them dumb. In a high school classroom, it would be making sure that those who might be gay don't get offended by other people's crude remarks. I want to be the teacher that people feel comfortable with, and safe in my classroom. I plan on holding every student accountable for any comment that might hurt or offend anyone else, even if they might not be present in the classroom or the school.

I saw a little bit of this in my kindergarten classroom, not in such a way, but similarly. One little boy, Shark*, turned around in the middle of reciting the alphabet and hit the boy sitting behind him. The teacher made sure to stop right then and there and ask Shark why he did that. Shark just shrugged, and the teacher told everyone in the class that they should never hit one another, especially if they didn't have a reason! Mostly in the classroom, I noticed that neither of the teachers made an effort to use linguistic differences to their advantage. It was almost puzzling to me, because I saw the classroom full of these bright young kids, but overheard one of the teachers talking to someone else and saying "They don't know what it's like; they all just need to learn and speak English." Like Lisa Delpit, I agree that in order to succeed in this country, people need to learn English, but I don't think that they should be forced to rid themselves of their culture and language at the same time. Instead, I think the teachers should focus on helping the children embrace these differences and using them to their own advantage.

What is a parent to do?

The culturally competent teacher involves and works with families and community resources, understanding the differences in families, the important influence of family participation in students' learning, and the benefit of collaborating with the wider school community.

I spoke a little bit of this in my last blog post when I discussed the view the parents have of their role in their child's education. As a teacher, I will need to make it clear exactly what my role is in the lives of my students, and if I am expecting anything from the parents. Honestly, I wouldn't want to rely on the parents for anything when I become a teacher. The only thing that I hope for is for them to encourage their students to have big dreams, and to support them in the decisions they make. Maybe it was the way I was brought up, maybe it's just the difference I see in students everywhere - from the kids I tutor at The Little Zoo to the students that attend Rhode Island College, it's almost immediately evident which students are working hard for themselves because they want to do something with their lives, and which students are being pushed through life by Mommy and Daddy, without making a single effort of their own.

In the classrooms that I see at The Little Zoo, I feel that the kids are going through a similar upbringing to the one that I had. They are learning quickly that when it comes to school, they will have to be independent and learn things in school from their teachers. It is not the parents' responsibility to teach the child how to behave in school, or how to do their homework. I don't see this as a downfall; I actually see it as an advantage, not only to the child's education but to their personal ambition as well.

As a future teacher, I will need to be in contact with the parents of my students. This means that I will need to be open to different cultures, opinions and attitudes towards education, and different personalities. Some challenges might be a language barrier; if the only language spoken by either parent is Cambodian, any discussion between myself and them would be limited. The thing that I would make sure of, though, is that I would make an effort to learn about their culture, maybe ask the student to help me with some basic phrases, that would show the parents as well as the students that my main goal is to help their child. Another challenge might be a lack of interest on the parents' side. Regardless of race or culture or upbringing, there are going to be some parents that couldn't care less about their children, and it's heartbreaking to hear about a child being left at school until 8 o'clock at night because the parent "forgot to pick them up." I would still try to make it evident to the parent that I care. A lot of other cultures may see great success in something as simple as a child's excellent behavior in class all week, or a great story that a child wrote for an assignment. I want to be that teacher that can make a parent so proud with a note or a phone call letting them know how great their child is doing. I was in eighth grade when one of my teachers called my mother at work to let her know that I was excelling in the class and that he was so proud of all of the work I was doing. I had always been a good student, gotten good grades, but this one phone call, in comparison to all of my report cards and exam scores, made my mother cry. She was ecstatic, not only that I was doing so well, but that I had a teacher that really truly cared. I want to be that teacher.

My students that I helped at The Little Zoo were always very eager to tell me all about their familias and how they spend so much time together. After the Thanksgiving holiday, I asked my kids if they enjoyed their few days away from school. Star*, usually very shy, got so excited she shot out of her seat as she told me all about how she and her dad had gone fishing and caught a really big fish. "Really, miss Tina, it was like big shark!" I felt like I got to know a little bit more about each of them every time they told me about an adventure that they had had with their little sister or that their mom made their "most favoritest" dinner in the whole world. While their parents might not sit them down at the dinner table every evening and help them with their homework, they are teaching them other things, sometimes more important than what we can ever learn in school. As they teach their children about life, they are expecting us, the teachers, to teach them everything else.

Lisa Delpit in "The Silenced Dialogue" discusses the parents that "want something more. They want to ensure that the school provides their children with discourse patterns, interactional styles, and spoken and written language codes that will allow them success in the larger society." As a teacher in a multiculturally diverse classroom, we will have to assume that every parent will want this for their child. It is our responsibility to teach the students the rules and codes that are vital in this culture that they are being brought up in. The way a parent will teach their child about their culture and the rules and codes that surround them at home, a teacher has to teach each and every student the codes of the culture that surround them in this country.

i'll teach you English if you teach me Spanish

The culturally competent teacher is aware of the diverse cultural groups represented in his or her classroom, investigates the sociocultural factors that influence student learning, and is able to integrate this knowledge into his or her teaching.
Throughout my many weeks at The Little Zoo* and after attending the Promising Practices workshop regarding the schooling of English Language Learners (ELLs) in America, I feel like I have a better understanding of this Cultural Competency Teaching Area. In his workshop, facilitated by graduate students in the ESL program, Professor Ramirez pointed out that students from other countries or other cultures may not only speak a different language, but they may have a completely different learning style than those whose parents have gone to school in the United States. The two classrooms that I worked with at The Little Zoo were both ESL classrooms, in which most of the students came from a Spanish-speaking background. It was miraculous to hear these students, barely able to say more than a few words in English when prompted by the teacher, yelling excitedly to tell their friends a story across the hall in fluent Spanish when we were supposed to be working on our rhyming skills.

Growing up in a Croatian household, we didn't speak a lot of English. My parents had just moved to the country a few years before I was born, and neither of them had had enough time to try and learn the language while getting their lives going here. They had basic vocabulary down, but neither of them felt comfortable enough to speak fluently. I have heard so often growing up that my parents were lucky I never needed any help with homework, or that I never asked them to read my papers and correct them. I simply knew that it wasn't an option, and I learned to become independent in regards to my schoolwork at a very young age. I see some of this in the kids that I tutor. At first, they were very shy, and just looked at each other every time I asked a question to see if they could all come up with the same answer by telepathy. One day we were sitting outside and one of them, we'll call him Chicken*, just kept shrugging his shoulders every time I asked him what the beginning sound of a word was. One of the aides from another classroom was photocopying something in the hallway, and she simply looked at him, raised her eyebrows, and said in crisp Spanish, "You know the answer. Tell her." Without hesitation, the beginning sound came out of his mouth. I was shocked. And at the same time, I had a realization - why shouldn't I be able to use the Spanish I had learned in high school, however limited it may be, to help these kids with their English reading skills. Names popped into my head, and I could hear some of the discussions we had had in class about Delpit and Goldenberg replaying in my mind.

I thought of Lisa Delpit's argument that students shouldn't have to shed their culture and language at the door of an English classroom. Instead, the teacher should be able to understand this multicultural difference, and use it to everyone's advantage. Doing a little bit of research never hurt anybody, and six-year olds can actually teach you a lot more than you think they can. Goldenberg mentioned in his article that if students knew how to read in their first language, reading in English would be even easier. Some of these students, to my shock, knew how to read in Spanish. Professor Ramirez, in his presentation, showed us that students, ELLs and English speaking students, want to learn if they sense that you, as a teacher, believe that they can learn and are willing to help them. In many other countries, the teacher is seen as the sole provider of a child's education. The parent is not to blame if the child is not up to par on their reading or math skills and may have to stay back. A lot of American families don't feel this way; instead, they go over the child's homework with them and provide support. It's not that a parent from a different country doesn't care about their child if they don't help them with their homework - it's just the way that they were brought up, and the way that they see education.

The next time I went to The Little Zoo, I introduced a new aspect to our activity. Sometimes, when showing a picture of something, I would say it in Spanish, and ask for the beginning sound of the word in Spanish. The kids were so impressed that I was even acknowledging this other part of their lives. "Oh, Miss Tina, YOU SPEAK-A SPANISH?!" It became a part of any game that we played, sometimes we would use it to help them associate beginning sounds with letters, and other times it was just for fun, and they would teach me new words in Spanish every week. I saw even more excitement on their faces each time I walked into the classroom to get them, and it made me realize that an advantage that I would have as a teacher of my students in the future is that I care. I know what it's like to grow up in a house where no one can help you with your homework, so you don't even ask. I know what that feeling of pride is like when you get your first "test" back in second or third grade and you can go home and put it on the fridge, knowing you did it all on your own. Yes, a small advantage might be that I took three years of Spanish in high school, but that wouldn't even matter if I didn't want it to matter. Regardless of what culture my students come from in the future, I want to learn all about it: the language, the customs, the families. I want to be that teacher that makes her students excited to come to her classroom not only because they want to learn, but because they see my desire to learn as well.

nowhere to begin but at the end

So today was my last day of tutoring, and I was filled with bittersweet emotions - happiness and sadness washed over me at the same time, and I realized what it was that had happened in the past ten weeks. I had done something, I had made a difference, however small it may be, in the lives of a handful of students. The looks on the children's faces today when I told them it would be our last time was absolutely heartbreaking, as were the questions that followed. "Why? You don't like us anymore?" When explaining to my kindergarteners that I had to go to school and that was why I wouldn't be coming back, my little friend Monkey* looked up at me with the most serious look I had seen on his face all semester. "Will you miss us, Tina?" I told them that of course I would miss them, which was the complete truth. He sighed. "I'm going to miss you. A lot." Coming from a six-year old that I saw once a week during a time span of two and a half months, this was more than touching. It was one of the most rewarding things anyone has ever said to me. As I was bringing them back to their classroom, I noted that in comparison to the usual race they had amongst themselves to get back first, this time they were hanging back, and when we started to go down the stairs, each of them was holding one of my hands. After long hugs and sad goodbyes, I went upstairs to the first grade classroom.

I don't really know what I was expecting. My first graders have since day one been rowdy and fresh with each other, almost to the point of disrespecting me. To my surprise, they were even more shocked than my kindergarteners at the news that it was our last session! They were on their best behavior for the remainder of the half hour that we spent reading. When time was up, we went back upstairs, but I was a little surprised that Pinky*, who had always held my hand going upstairs and then given me a hug each time before I left, ran ahead of me and straight into the classroom without even looking back. I went in to say goodbye to the teacher, and got big hugs and smiles from my other two kids, but Pinky wouldn't even look at me. I knelt down so I was at her eye level and asked if she was alright. "You're leaving us, Tina" was the simple response she gave with tears in her eyes, bringing tears to mine. She threw her arms around my neck and sniffled onto my shoulder as I tried to think of something to say. I was speechless.
Walking out of the school I wondered what would happen. If I would ever see these children again. I'd like to say yes, and I'd like to believe that with all my heart, but the sad part is that I just don't know. I guess that's what happens when you're a teacher. Maybe this is something you have to learn to deal with. You're such an important figure in the lives of your students, but only while you're their teacher (in most cases). You build unbelievable bonds with them, share so much together while learning from one another. But in the end, only circumstance will tell if you will ever meet again once they walk out of your classroom - or in my case, when you walk out of theirs.

so far, so good!

So far, I've been to my school four times, and I love it. The school is in a neighborhood very much unlike the kind of neighborhood that I grew up in. The school is on the corner of a very busy street, and the houses are a little run-down, with paint chipping off almost every single one on the street. It seems to be such a diverse neighborhood, as I saw very few white families but mostly hispanic and black families. I was a little nervous, and remember thinking to myself driving there, "what will these kids be like?" As soon as I pulled up to the school, however, I was relieved. I had gotten there early enough to witness all of the children being dropped off in the recess yard, and I was ecstatic to see that they were all so excited running down the sidewalk to school. They couldn't wait to see their friends, their teachers, and to just be at school.

When I walked into the building, I couldn't help but smile. Right in the main lobby, there are murals on all of the walls of characters that the kids would be familiar with, some Disney characters, Franklin the turtle, Clifford, and many more. The secretary's office is bright and colorful, as are all of the hallway walls. Everything is very neat and clean, and even though the building seems to be rather old, it is taken care of, and shows a lot of love. It seems like a very comforting place to be and go to school in, as well as a great school to teach at. The first floor has three Kindergarten classrooms and another room, and the second floor has three First grade classrooms and the library. There is also a basement floor, where I saw the small cafeteria (so cute), as well as the Nurse's office and the Reading coach's office. I was so excited to see little kids going up and down the stairs in pairs of two or three, following the "buddy system."

The first week was just an informational sort of meeting, where we met the Reading Coach and discussed in detail what we would actually be doing in the classrooms. The second week we were assigned to our classrooms for both Kindergarten and first grade, and were sent upstairs to meet the teachers and children. My first impression of the K classroom I was sent to was that it was very LOUD. When we walked in, the kids were all sitting on the alphabet rug, reciting a little song. They are all so enthusiastic about everything that they do, even if they don't know the right answer. They were so inviting, and seeing the visitors entering the classroom they became very giggly and smily and kept turning around to wave to us. The teachers of this classroom seemed a little harsh the first couple of weeks, but these past two have been much more friendly and interested in us rather than viewing us as a bother. The classroom is very colorful, and decorated on all sides by the children's artwork. In this classroom, there is a great value of respect, for the teachers as well as the other students. The students have to pay attention to the teacher and be nice to the other children. When we were doing an art project that first class, there were only five glue sticks at my table of six children, and it just struck me as so encouraging to see one little girl look at the girl next to her and say, "You use my glue. We share." The smile from ear to ear on her face in response said it all.

For my first grade classroom, I was assigned to the ESL classroom, in which all those students who had gone through or are still going through the ESL program are in. I opened the door, and a little boy sitting close to the door jumped out of his seat, ran over and threw his arms around me. It was such a warm welcome, and the teacher was so friendly and thankful from the very first day. What I feel that is valued in this classroom is that each student feels a sense of belonging. They are practicing their writing skills by telling stories about their own lives, and then telling the other students about it. This classroom was also decorated with very bright colors, posters, but what I noticed especially was the organization of the room. Each wall had two or three sections on it, and for each section was a certain subject, like math, science, or writing. In each section there were some factual posters as well as student work to make them feel proud of themselves.

The past two weeks, I've been working with three students from each classroom. My three Kindergarteners are working on identifying rhyme words, while my first grade ESL students are working on sound-letter correlation. From one week to the next, I saw such an improvement in one of my Kindergarteners. The first week, he didn't seem to understand the concept of rhyme at all, and this past week I was thrilled when he was saying the two words out loud to himself and then telling me whether or not they rhymed. Every week, the time seems to go by faster and faster, and before I know it, it's time to say good-bye. I am already enjoying myself so much and learning a lot from these kids, as I hope they are from me. I'm excited to see how the rest of the semester unfolds.

Just Me

Hello, my name is Kristina, but most people prefer to call me Tina. It really doesn't matter to me, as long as if you call me Kristina, you remember it's spelled with a K. I'm a sophomore at RIC, and am majoring in Secondary Education and English. I hope to someday move to Croatia and teach there. The semester is going well, just very busy. When I'm not at school, I'm usually at work, Target at the Lincoln Mall. I go to Croatia every summer, and will probably talk about it a lot, just so you know. If I have any free time at all, I like to spend it with my friends and family, or catch up on my sleep.

That's all for now.